11.27.2006

Some Previous Rambling

+JMJ

I wrote this quite a long while ago. It does need quite a bit of work, but I stumbled across it and read it today... Felt like I should share.

We are nothing but dust, yet we act as if we are superior or equal to God in many cases. We walk with our noses in the air, taking each step deliberately so as to have an air of superiority. We take immense pride in our talents, appearances, and property. Yet we are to be humble people. We are called to be humble like Christ, the Divine, who humbled himself so as to come into our presence, taking on the form of lowly man. Yes, we are loved immensely and truly, but we act as if though we are loved more than others. Our gifts and talents are not something to be shown off nor paraded around. We have such a tendency to allow for pride in everything we do. We let little room for humility to come into our lives. Christ has called us to love one another as He has loved us. Pride does not love. We walk with pride even in our Churches, especially those who have been allowed a special duty. We find ourselves exempt from participating fully and allow for Mass to become a stage show to exhibit our talents and property. Our duty becomes more important than Christ. It is terrible to sit and watch the self-importance and self-love throw Christ aside like an ordinary newspaper, when in fact, He is the Word Incarnate! Our voices, as beautiful as they may be, were not made for human pleasures, but rather for praise of God. Our bodies, as lovely as they may be, are not meant for human pleasures, but as a temple for the Holy Spirit and for the Greater Glory of God! Our property should only be that which we need to survive our earthly pilgrimage, nothing outside of our needs should be supplied. God has given to us all we need, but we find we must find pleasure in earthly human things, especially self-love, and find that we need to give ourselves more and we must become the superior and best there is. We find no room for humility in our overcrowded lives and hearts. I say, clean yourselves of all this excess. Leave it all behind. Humbly continue the pilgrimage and kill the pride that has taken hold of you. Let not the evil one trick you into falling into the terrible sin of pride. “From pride all perdition took its beginning” (Tob 4:14). If you rid yourself of pride and embrace humility with all your being, you will find yourself being rid of other sins and temptations, for pride is in all sins. Examine your conscience and pray that God will allow you to see the self-love and pride within each of these sins. Pray that we all will be freed from the chains of this serious and disastrous sin.

11.06.2006

A Sudden Desire

+JMJ

It has been quite sometime since I have really desired within myself the religious life. Suddenly today, I feel such a strong desire. It is almost flame like, engulfing my heart in love. I feel it may have to do with reading Showings by Julian of Norwich. It is such a simple and straightforward text, but at the same time filled to the brim with such a rich and deep love of God. It is beautiful. I am not quite through it all and I have more than half of it to finish, but it is just so beautiful in the way that the love of God shines forth so brilliantly.

I feel such a desire for God although it has been sometime since it feels like I have had a sincere desire for Him. There have been times where I have broken down into tears just telling Jesus, I know I need You, but I can't hold on to You! I want You but I need to do better and stay closer to You.

Jesus I need You.

Lord, Thy Will Be Done.